maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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