i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
