theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
