Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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