i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
