ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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