Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
