i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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