I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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