I looked at my own cervix.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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