I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
