That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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