According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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