you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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