We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
