9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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