I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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