90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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