turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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