I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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