how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
love makes seman taste better
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
