I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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