Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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