I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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