No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize