If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
