yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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