I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize