Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
