He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
