i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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