youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
