To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
