I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
