Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
