SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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