Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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