He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We were destined to go to rehab together
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
