Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
