You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
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what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.