I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!