Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?