Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he just fucked me for my cheese.