dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
