i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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