I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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