I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
