Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I looked at my own cervix.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
