Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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