White coat. Heels.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
