doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
