You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I AM VODKA MAN
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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