The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
should my penis look like a turkey
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
