yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
