Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize