I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
