THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize