By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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