yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
