question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
