He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
