You made me cry and you don't even care
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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