guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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