If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
