The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
