8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
